Something I encounter often is whether or not experience matters. Particularly in my case, does experience matter with relation to a submissive's submission.
However, the same could be asked about a Dominant and their experience with Domination.
Today, I'm going to share my thoughts on the relevance of experience in relation to BDSM and D&s exchanges.
Does Experience Matter?
For me, a submissive's experience level with BDSM and submission is almost always irrelevant. Honestly, I generally prefer a submissive with less experience than one who may be more 'seasoned'. There's a good reason for this, which I will get to in a moment.
I'm obviously posed the question; Does Experience Matter? often by submissives. Probably due to my extensive experience with being a Dominant and the intimidation that can often come with that to a submissive who may not have the same level of experience or, who is new to the lifestyle. Which is fine, as I am never looking for most but rather, the few.
So, why do I often prefer a submissive with less experience? The answer to this is quite simple - their ability to be molded.
Through my exchanges, I have come to find that an experienced submissive has generally developed habits and/or interests that are based upon and reflect their previous Dominants. Obviously, these are not my interests or habits, thus I do not have a desire to break or correct the habits imposed by another.
To engage with a submissive who holds less experience allows for me to possess a greater ability to lead them where I wish for them to be and not where someone else has led and left them.
It goes like this, I prefer for a submissive to be a blank canvas. Someone who is aware of their desire to serve, yet, they haven't been molded into someone else's vision and for the intimidation of my experience to be a catalyst in furthering my Dominance, control, and power over them.
It's never about what she's actually done, but what she's willing to do. Her ability to submit how I desire.
Does experience matter? To me, no. However, that goes without saying that there are certain instances which I feel experience does matter or it may be important to evaluate.
For instance, if a submissive holds far greater experience over a Dominant, what will tend to happen is the submissive will end up 'Topping From The Bottom' which can ultimately undermine the entire purpose of a D&s exchange.
Also, a Dominant with less experience may run a greater risk of abusing His authority and role. He may also leave a submissive wanting and yearning for more. In this case, it may be wise for the Dominant to stick with a submissive of equal experience so that they may explore together at the same pace.
Likewise, a submissive should evaluate what levels of control they require from their Dominant as with experience, generally comes confidence - a Dominant's confidence in His ability to lead her to submission and make her what He desires her to be.
Ultimately, as all things, it is a matter of preference and requirement. I require a blank canvas, one that I can corrupt how I wish, not one that has been corrupted. My Dominant ego could also play a role in that, but it's my preference none the less.
Having that said, there are many Dominant's who prefer a seasoned submissive as they are more likely to allow Him to push greater boundaries much sooner. Boundaries He wouldn't otherwise be able to explore without spending a significant amount of time focused on the development of His submissive, which I can agree, can become very taxing.
So tell me, does experience matter to you? Why?