Does Experience Matter? | BDSM FAQ

Something I encounter often is whether or not experience matters. Particularly in my case, does experience matter with relation to a submissive's submission.

However, the same could be asked about a Dominant and their experience with Domination.

Today, I'm going to share my thoughts on the relevance of experience in relation to BDSM and D&s exchanges.

Does Experience Matter?

For me, a submissive's experience level with BDSM and submission is almost always irrelevant. Honestly, I generally prefer a submissive with less experience than one who may be more 'seasoned'. There's a good reason for this, which I will get to in a moment.

I'm obviously posed the question; Does Experience Matter? often by submissives. Probably due to my extensive experience with being a Dominant and the intimidation that can often come with that to a submissive who may not have the same level of experience or, who is new to the lifestyle. Which is fine, as I am never looking for most but rather, the few.

So, why do I often prefer a submissive with less experience? The answer to this is quite simple - their ability to be molded.

Through my exchanges, I have come to find that an experienced submissive has generally developed habits and/or interests that are based upon and reflect their previous Dominants. Obviously, these are not my interests or habits, thus I do not have a desire to break or correct the habits imposed by another.

To engage with a submissive who holds less experience allows for me to possess a greater ability to lead them where I wish for them to be and not where someone else has led and left them.

It goes like this, I prefer for a submissive to be a blank canvas. Someone who is aware of their desire to serve, yet, they haven't been molded into someone else's vision and for the intimidation of my experience to be a catalyst in furthering my Dominance, control, and power over them.

Register Today to Join The Conversation!

It's never about what she's actually done, but what she's willing to do. Her ability to submit how I desire.

Does experience matter? To me, no. However, that goes without saying that there are certain instances which I feel experience does matter or it may be important to evaluate.

For instance, if a submissive holds far greater experience over a Dominant, what will tend to happen is the submissive will end up 'Topping From The Bottom' which can ultimately undermine the entire purpose of a D&s exchange.

Also, a Dominant with less experience may run a greater risk of abusing His authority and role. He may also leave a submissive wanting and yearning for more. In this case, it may be wise for the Dominant to stick with a submissive of equal experience so that they may explore together at the same pace.

Likewise, a submissive should evaluate what levels of control they require from their Dominant as with experience, generally comes confidence - a Dominant's confidence in His ability to lead her to submission and make her what He desires her to be.

Ultimately, as all things, it is a matter of preference and requirement. I require a blank canvas, one that I can corrupt how I wish, not one that has been corrupted. My Dominant ego could also play a role in that, but it's my preference none the less.

Having that said, there are many Dominant's who prefer a seasoned submissive as they are more likely to allow Him to push greater boundaries much sooner. Boundaries He wouldn't otherwise be able to explore without spending a significant amount of time focused on the development of His submissive, which I can agree, can become very taxing.

So tell me, does experience matter to you? Why?

Connect w/ Me on Social Media

Leave a Comment